In Sickness And In Death

I was sleeping and hearing the bassline to ELO's "Last Train To London" in my dreams (no idea why) when my iPhone text message alert awakened me. "Probably GroupieGirl" I thought. But it wasn't, it was Dad, telling me that a relative of mine had died. Specifically, my brother-in-law's mum. She'd had a stroke on Thursday night, and died today. She was in her eighties, so had had a fair crack of the whip, I suppose.

My dad had a stroke, twelve years ago now - he was lucky. He's never quite been the man he was, but his razor-sharp wit is still there, and he gets about OK with the use of his stick. I remember when I called the hospital on that fateful day in 1997 (Groupie's birthday, no less) that the nurse told me the first three days are the key to how a stroke victim will recover. Dad was lucky. She wasn't. Or maybe she was, because I've seen how it goes when a stroke victim doesn't "come back". One of Dad's workmates was left brain damaged in a wheelchair and could barely speak after his stroke. Not the way you want to see your loved ones.

I've not seen my brother-in-law's mum for a while. Guess I never will now. My parents were continually trying to call me on Sunday, but I was not in the mood to talk to anyone that day (too tired). Now I know why - they were probably up at the hospital, which is only about 2 km away from my house.

I've sent my sister a SMS of condolence, which sounds bloody harsh but to be honest I'm never sure what to say in these circumstances. Not often I'm lost for words, but I am tonight.

I haven't decided whether to beg my boss for time off for the funeral or not. In one way, I'd like to say goodbye to her properly. In another, I'm not a huge fan of funerals. Well, you're not supposed to be are you? But that's not what I mean. It just all seems a bit false and contrived - the minister saying the usual platitudes up in the pulpit, you sing a hymn or two and then trek out to the cemetery. Or possibly the crematorium, I'm not sure what they'll do with her. It's funny, I can watch scenes from films like Hostel and Saw repeatedly, but real funerals are a different matter.

As far as the living goes, fifteen per cent of the workforce at my Nazi death camp of a job are now off sick, and I've heard the words "swine flu" mentioned. Not sure whether it's in jest or in all seriousness, but the words have been mentioned. One of the guys is on Twitter and he's not having a happy time of it going by his updates. Suddenly all those jokes about pig flu are a little less funny.

I was exhausted all day Sunday, and feeling a little lightheaded all day today. I hope I don't go down with anything. With luck, the usual hassling people to get back to work won't be used this time. There's a lot of hyperbole talked about the disease, but those two words do strike fear into people - witness the notices on doctor's surgeries and pharmacies saying "if you think you have swine flu DO NOT ENTER THIS BUILDING". A little mini-epidemic may shake up the management a bit, which is a good thing in my opinion. Particularly in one case, but don't get me started on him.

Rest in peace B.

JOHNNY CASH - THE MAN COMES AROUND
(from the album "American IV: The Man Comes Around", 2002)