Saturday Night And Sunday Morning

An eventful twenty four hours, then. Let's get started - and I'll at least try to be concise...

I did decide to go out last night after all (maybe I was still feeling miffed that I missed the Quo concert) and I'm actually very glad I did. While "warming up" in one of the bars around 21.00 or so I managed to get a flyer giving me free entry to a 1990s theme bar, situated off the main street of the city. The fact that there are such things as 1990s theme bars now makes me rather uncomfortable - a reminder that time waits for no one - but I thought I'd give it a go, after all, you can't argue with free entry, can you?

When I got there, I found it was actually two clubs in the same building. Upstairs was the 90s bar, and downstairs was an 80s room (which also covered some of the 70s and even 60s) and my flyer would get me in both - I could move from one room to the other, rather like the arrangement my student union had. Checking my leather jacket in the cloakroom, I went upstairs. And I have to say, it was rather disappointing. There weren't all that many people there, and the folks who were there looked a bit like the posers and muppets that put me off clubbing here :( plus, nobody seemed interested in dancing, and frankly that's what the place is there for, yeah? I have absolutely no inhibitions on a dancefloor, even without alcohol (and I only had a couple of pints or so all evening) and I will quite happily go to the floor on my own and give it all I've got to try and get the party started. Well, I tried, for about a half hour - but not many seemed interested.

Hmmm...I thought, let's try going back in time a bit. I slipped away to the 80s room - and immediately thought "this is much better!" I was met by people who looked decent, had made an effort to dress up a bit (though not too much) and were already having a bit of a boogie! Cyndi Lauper was singing about how girls just want to have fun...and I went straight to the dancefloor and stayed there for two solid hours, only leaving to go to the Gents - and then after a Red Bull and a sit-out of a few slow ones, I was right back on the floor for some more hoofing right up to closing time at 03.00. Utterly fantastic. I felt not so much that I was dancing with myself, as dancing with EVERYONE - and a couple of ladies made me smile when they had a sort of mock "battle" for the right to dance with me during Diana Ross's "Chain Reaction". As I said, I'm through with girls, but there were a few who I wouldn't have minded walking home as it were....if I was still interested :) but the main thing was I wanted to have a good time, and I did. Even the night bus home wasn't as bad as I'd feared (probably as I caught it slightly out of the centre of town, and it was 03.30 by then, so lessening the chance of having to deal with the muppets) and I got home and said to myself as I was winding down "I had a really lovely evening tonight". So, I'll be going to that place again - some other Saturday...

I didn't sleep much, waking up about 09.30 or so and having some chocomilk while going through the emails and the "virtual" Sunday papers. Then I thought I've give GroupieGirl a text and see how she was. We sent a couple of messages back and forth and I casually mentioned the night out I had. Then the phone rang - this is unusual, as most people text me - and when I saw it was Groupie I was even more intrigued. So I answered "Hiya...."

"Why didn't you give me the opportunity to go with you last night?" she asked. Oh for Zog's sake, I thought, here we go again..... and I explained that it was a spur of the moment decision, taken practically at the last minute and that I doubted she'd have lasted till closing time anyway.

"I was sitting here bored all evening! Why don't you want to do anything with me these days??" And so this went on for five minutes or so with her becoming more incoherent as time went on and me trying - and failing - to get a word in edgeways. Eventually, I decided enough was enough.

"Groupie", I said, "if that's how you feel - if that's how you really feel - then maybe we should just stop seeing each other."

Silence.

"I mean", I continued, "I can't go on like this. You're driving me nuts and it's not fun anymore."

"Don't leave me" said a frightened little voice on the other end of the line. "Please don't leave me. I love you!!"

Bloody hell....and you want me to love you the way you've been acting?? I thought, but at least I'd managed to get her to listen to me. We continued the conversation in a more settled manner and made a date to meet in town for coffee & cake, where I made it clear in no uncertain terms that while she meant a lot to me, she had to just bloody well back off as she was scaring me away. That I was spending far too much time worrying about this and it was taking all the fun out of what we had. I said that although there were no other women in my love life, and I wasn't actively seeking any, she had to stop being so damn clingy or I WOULD walk away. And, with much pouting and moodiness (she saw my London rail tickets in my wallet when I was paying for coffee, which started her off again) I think she's finally accepted how I feel about things, and how it must be.

We went back to my place to kiss and make up (well, we did a bit more than just kiss - enough said) and it looks like I can finally focus my thoughts on other things. However, I am certain that something has changed between us. We seem to be growing apart, and I can't see us being together for long after this. It may be a short goodbye - it may be a long goodbye - but there's going to be a goodbye at some point in the short to midterm future and I think today was the beginning of it. She has ordered a booklet from the local college to see if there's any courses she can take (and the JobCentre are willing to pay for these under certain circumstances) and she is trying to "get a life" as the saying goes to reduce her dependence on me. But the fun is going out of things, and for once in my life it's going to be me who eventually pulls the trigger, rather than being the broken-hearted one.

I mean, I'm listening to tracks and thinking "this would be a good break-up song". Can you have a break-up song if you were just "friends with benefits?" I don't know - but when you're choosing what it could be, you know it's nearing last call.

NAZARETH - LOVE HURTS
(from the album "Hair Of The Dog", 1975)